What does Chinua Achebe's story "Marriage is a Private Affair" say about the relationship between fathers and sons?

It is evident from the beginning of Chinua Achebe's short story "Marriage is a Private Affair" that the relationship between Nnaemeka and Okeke is quite amiable. Nnaemeka seems to be a faithful son who is very much aware of his father's opinion. Unfortunately for Nnaemeka, he falls in love with a woman who does not fit his father's expectations. It is a scenario which has played itself out many times in the history of father and son relationships. There is a generational and cultural conflict between father and son. Okeke lives in the traditional and prejudiced world of his small Nigerian village while Nnaemeka lives in the modern city of Lagos. Okeke fully expects his son to marry a woman of his own tribe and ethnic group. He has, in fact, already picked out a girl for his son. Nnaemeka, however, views the world in a different way. He no longer accepts the idea that his father should arrange his marriage and that he needs to live out his life married to someone who is socially and culturally appropriate, but whom he simply does not love. At one point in the story, Nnaemeka expresses his frustration with his father as he describes the girl he plans on marrying:


"Nene Atang from Calabar. She is the only girl I can marry." This was a very rash reply and Nnaemeka expected the storm to burst. But it did not. His father merely walked away into his room. This was most unexpected and perplexed Nnaemeka. His father's silence was infinitely more menacing than a flood of threatening speech. That night the old man did not eat. (Achebe 1347)



The reaction of Okeke reveals that he has been deeply disappointed by his son, who has probably never disappointed him before. Heretofore, the father and son relationship had been seemingly impeccable, most likely because Nnaemeka had always lived up to his father's expectations. Nnaemeka is simply not the rebellious son, and it is evident that he is distressed by his father's reaction. He hopes for the best and that his father will eventually accept his marriage. It takes eight years, but ultimately Okeke softens after hearing that he has two grandsons. In the end, love trumps stubbornness and it is suggested that Okeke will reunite with his son and his family.


MLA citations are very easy. A routine Google search should lead you in the right direction. I have used MLA style at the end of the quote, although the page number is for my particular anthology (World Literature, published by Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1993) and probably differs from yours. Also make sure to give a full citation of the story in your works cited section.

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